1. |
We Love Barney Fife
02:15
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WE LOVE BARNEY FIFE (NEW 2021 REMIX)
(parody of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel)
Original Release: 1989 (by Guns N’ Moses)
“The Andy Griffith Show”
Andy Griffith on TV, Sheriff Taylor, Mayberry
Mount Pilot, North Carolina, Raleigh
Fishin’ hole, Ernest T., courthouse, Opie
Goober Pyle, Gomer Pyle (“Golllllly!”)
“Hi Barney! Hi Ope! Hey Andy, Hey Barn!
Hey Gomer! Oh Hi, Aunt Bea!”
“Hi! Anybody ready for some lunch?”
Aunt Bea in the kitchen
Lousy pickles, good fried chicken
Helen Crump, Otis drunk
Emmett’s Fix-It Shop
Criminals would come to town
Fearless Fife tracks ‘em down
His eyes would pop, his gun would drop
He’s our favorite TV cop
We love Barney Fife (“Yeah!”)
He’s the Deputy of Mayberry
We love Barney Fife (“That’s my name!”)
He upholds the law with Opie’s pa
Floyd the barber cuttin’ hair
Howard Sprague, barber chair
Barney’s job is never done
Law and order’s in his blood
His shaky gun is at your service
Catchin’ crooks makes him nervous
Thelma Lou’s official stud
Nip it, nip it in the bud
“This is Deputy Fife speakin’ and I’m armed!!!”
“Relax Barn!”
Andy played the guitar
Barney’s in the squad car
Driving Mayberry nuts
He’s a law enforcement klutz
Ticket writing everyone
He’s got one bullet for his gun
Bad guys are on the run
Book ‘em Barney, Murder One!
We love Barney Fife (“Yeah!”)
He’s the Deputy of Mayberry
Andy Griffith is our life
When the show is done
We’ll watch another one re-run, re-run, re-run
We love Barney Fife
“You better do as you’re told fella!
This is the law speakin’!”
“Hey you up there, hold it!”
“Alright, that’s all, you’ve had it!”
“Now break it up and beat it, go on!”
“Now Barney...!”
“Mayberry says thanks and happy motoring!”
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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2. |
I Want Your Sox
02:47
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I WANT YOUR SOX
(parody of “I Want Your Sex” by George Michael)
Original Release: 1987 (by The Iceman)
There are things when you dress
That you put on your toes
There are boys who wear tubes
And girls who wear hose
If you wanna keep me warm
When the freezing cold wind blows
Don’t give me your lovin’, forget it
Just give me a pair of those
I want your socks
I want your socks
I’ll wear ‘em on my feet
I’ll show ‘em to my friends
‘Cause I like the feel
Of that dacron-polyester blend
Argyle or cotton
Wool or gold toe
When you tell me I gotta foot fetish
Then I tell ya that I’ll smell ‘em but ya still say no
I swear I won’t stretch them
Won’t pull out the threads
My puppy won’t chew them
Or rip them to shreds
Tell me, who has been putting his toes in your holes?
Have you been a patient of that heel, Dr. Scholl’s?
I want your socks
I want your socks
They’re comfortable (Socks!)
Elastical (Socks!)
They’re darnable (Socks!)
They’re made of wool (Knit It!)
But most of all
One size fits all
Socks are somethin’ that we should wear
(Socks are somethin’ that come in pairs)
Socks are thin and socks are thick
You can even wear one on your ... hand
Socks are washable, when they’re done
Socks get lost, one by one
Huh! Socks!
I need a podiatrist
Huh! Socks!
I need a chiropodist
Huh! Socks!
I need a pedicurist
Huh! Socks!
I have a bunion ooooww!
What’s your definition of dirty, baby?
When do you consider doin’ laundry?
Dontcha know I love to play footsie, baby
Dontcha think it’s time you gave socks to me
Ow!
Socks to me
P-p-p-p-p-put them on
written by Rob "Iceman" Izenberg & Mark Jonathan Davis
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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3. |
Let's Get Spocked
02:22
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LETS GET SPOCKED
(parody of “Let’s Get Rocked” by Def Leppard)
Original Release: 1992
“Kirk to Enterprise.”
“Enterprise, Spock here.”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get....
He’s your green-blooded Vulcan logical dude
“Fascinating!”
Livin’ long and prosperin’, in a mind-meld mood
He’s with Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Chekov, on a five-year trek
And if you ever piss him off, he’ll just pinch your neck
It was Tribbles, Klingons, Romulans
Sulu’s at the wheel
Kirk had sex with aliens
Did he put on his deflector shield?
Now Doctor McCoy is startin’ to panic
“Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a mechanic!”
Beam me up, Scotty, to the Enterprise
Hey everybody, energize
Warp drive power, phasers on stun
It’ll just take an hour, rerun, rerun, rerun
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“I am not capable of that emotion.”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Fascinating!”
He’s had pointy ears, for thirty years
Come on, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Reading goes off my scale, Captain!”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Most illogical reaction!”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“You’re out of your Vulcan mind, Spock!”
“Logical, flawlessly logical.”
C’mon, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“Spock out.”
Let’s get, let’s get, let’s get, let’s get Spocked
“It is somewhat stimulating.”
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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4. |
Order The Egg Foo Yung
02:10
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ORDER THE EGG FOO YUNG
(parody of “Only The Good Die Young” by Billy Joel)
Original Release: 1992
Come on waitress, don’t hesitate
Put some egg rolls on my plate
Spare ribs and wontons, I can’t wait
I’ll eat every single one
Well I can’t get enough of this Chinese chow
I’m carrying a picture of Chairman Mao
Give me some chicken, and make it kung pao
But if you don’t want to hurt your tongue
Darling, order the egg foo yung
That’s what I get!
Order the egg foo yung, order the egg foo yung
You got nice white rice and the hot mustard is burning
You better use a fork, chopsticks make you look like a dork
Now I’m getting dizzy ‘cause the pu-pu platter’s turning
I just spilled hot tea all over my fortune cookie ... ow, ow, ow
Take out, take out, take out, column A and B
Stir fry my brain with MSG
There’s only one Chinese dish for me
And I don’t mean Connie Chung
I’m gonna order the egg foo yung
Mu shoo baby
Order the egg foo yung, order the egg foo yung
Order the egg foo yung, order the egg foo yung
Order the egg foo yung, order the egg foo yung
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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5. |
Pope Bog '87
01:01
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written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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6. |
La Isla Gilligan
03:02
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LA ISLA GILLIGAN (NEW 2021 REMIX)
(parody of “La Isla Bonita” by Madonna)
Original Release: 1987 (by The Iceman)
Re-Release: 1997 (by Guns N’ Moses)
Perdón, yo no habla Español.
Last night I dreamt of the Minnow
Five passengers who sailed that day
From a tropic bay
The weather started getting rough
So they had to stay awhile
On that desert isle
Living in those bamboo huts
The first mate was such a klutz
Mary Ann had great coconuts
La Isla Gilligan
And when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle
“Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan!
Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan!
Oh, my buddy!”
Gilligan fell out of his hammock (“Ooop!”)
He landed on the Skipper’s lap
Woke him from his nap
Los Howells tienen mucho dinero
(“I know the universal language — money!”)
No phones, no lights, no motorcars
Just dumb guests stars
Tropical the island nest
Sending out an S.O.S.
All the guys loved Ginger’s hair
La Isla Gilligan
‘Cause when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle
“Oop!” “Oop!” “Oop!” “Oop!”
I want to watch the reruns til I die
When it’s time for the credits their faces go by
Gilligan, Skipper, the millionaire, and his wife
The movie star, the professor
and
Mary Ann
“What happened?”
“Well, it’s those radioactive vegetables, Mary Ann!”
So join us here each week my friend
The best half hour you’ll ever spend
‘Cause you know they won’t get rescued again
From La Isla Gilligan
And when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle
The radio warned them of typhoons
Stuff washed up in the lagoon
The reruns are on every afternoon
La Isla Gilligan
And when the theme song plays
I think of those castaways
Who wore the same clothes every day
On that uncharted desert isle
“Don’t worry, Skipper, I know exactly where we are.”
“You do?? Where are we?”
“We’re lost.”
“Oh, Gilligan!”
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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7. |
They Drive Me Brady
02:28
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THEY DRIVE ME BRADY
(parody of “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals)
Original Release: 1990 (by Guns N’ Moses)
“Now look, fellas. Marcia, Jan, and Cindy are all part of our family.”
Here’s the story of sitcom life
“Greg’s gonna be famous!”
Mike’s the husband
“Greg, I want to see you in my den.”
Carol’s the wife
“You know, I think kids today are too grown up to get involved in such childish behavior.”
TV’s favorite family
Florence Henderson has Wessonality
“Greg!”
Peter, Bobby, Greg, Marcia, Cindy, Jan
Alice got her meat from butcher Sam
They drive my Brady
Three boys, three girls
They drive me Brady
The youngest one in curls
“Alice, could you get us some tea please?”
“Tea and cookies coming right up!”
“The next question is, why are you running a motel for goats?”
“Well it’s ... a special goat.”
“You wait ’til your mother finds out!”
The Brady girls, I’m obsessed
Marcia’s got a nice pair of sisters
“Greg!”
They drive me Brady
A groovy bunch
They drive me Brady
And Alice made their lunch
“Well that oughta do it, Mrs. Brady”
They drive me Brady
They’re back to stay
They drive me Brady
I watch them every day
They drive me Brady
They’re back again
They drive me Brady
And Mike’s working in the den
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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8. |
Bedrock, Bedrock
03:29
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BEDROCK, BEDROCK
(parody of “New York, New York” by Frank Sinatra)
“Never mind the instruments, you can hum the tune.
Now take it from the top!”
“Yeah, right-o Fred. Ah-one, ah-two…”
I’m sick of the news
Hate living today
I want to be prehistoric
Bedrock, Bedrock
“Yeah, heh hee-hee.”
Fred never wore shoes
“What are you, a wise guy?”
With Pebbles he played
“Coochie, coochie, coo!”
In the primeval mist of it
Bedrock, Bedrock
They are a modern stone-age family I’d like to meet
“Sweetheart! You’re home!”
And Fred will start up his car, using his feet
My civilized blues
Will melt right away
On a big dinosaur I’d sit
In old Bedrock
“Bam, Bam, Bam!”
Wilma would be my mate
I’d work for Mister Slate
Wish I was Fred
Bedrock, Bedrock
“Wilma! Get dinner on the table, I’m home!”
“There goes a sweet little old lady, Pebbles,
or my name isn’t Fred Flintstone!”
Bedrock, Bedrock
I want to live where
Barney Rubble is right next door
“(Laughing)”
Put out the sabertooth cat
Hit the drive-in
Big rack of ribs
Tips over the car
Yabba-dabba-doo
“Yabba dabba do!”
Is what I would say
I’m gonna have a gay old time of it
In old Bedrock
“I think it isn’t even fit for Dino to live in!”
And Dino will jump and bark
They’d eat him in Jurassic Park
Then he’d be dead
Bedrock, Bedrock
Bedrock
“What are you guys blabbing about,
will you let me out of here?”
written by Rob "Iceman" Izenberg & Mark Jonathan Davis
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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9. |
Leave It To Bono
01:31
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written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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10. |
Rogaine
01:42
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ROGAINE
(parody of “Cocaine” by Eric Clapton)
Original Release: 1993
If your hair is real thin, you’ve got to rub it in
Rogaine
If it grows on your back, but you’re still bald as Kojak
Rogaine
Hey bald guy, better buy, and apply
Rogaine
You’re in the Hair Club For Men, Captain Picard got you in
Rogaine
If you can’t get laid, ‘cause you look like Sinead
Rogaine
Can’t use a comb, you’ve got chrome on your dome
Rogaine
You got glare, it’s no fair, you want hair
Rogaine
Call that Sy Sperling guy, you should try
Rogaine
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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11. |
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HEY-O (THE SECOND BANANA SONG)
(parody of “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)” by Harry Belafonte)
Original Release: 1988
Hey-O!
Hey-O!
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
Hey-O!
Hey-O!
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
I work at night on NBC
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
The easiest job on TV
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
My name is Ed McMahon, I introduce Johnny
Heeeeeere’s Johnny!
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
I laugh at everything, even if it’s not funny
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
Divorce joke, Burbank joke, Reagan joke, monologue!
“Did you know that Tammy Fay Baker went back to the PTL, and got very angry because nobody came
over to greet her? She had taken her makeup off, everybody just assumed it was Ernest Borgnine!”
Ha ha ha ha ha, Yes!
One guest, two guest, three guest, couch!
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
“Anyway, tonight’s show, this is a partial best of Carson. I’m alive but Ed is a repeat tonight!”
Ha ha ha. Do I have to wear this calypso outfit on Star Search?
Hey-O!
I hold in my hand the last envelope
Hey Carnac, it’s a sweepstakes with my picture on it!
Hey-O!
From Hollywood, The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson!
This is Ed McMahon, along with Doc Severinsen and The NBC Orchestra,
Inviting you to join Johnny and his guests
Tony Randall, Doug Henning, Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo,
And 97-year-old cheese hurling champion Elsie Cheddarbutt!
And now, heeeeeere’s Johnny!
Hey-O!
Hey-O!
Hey-O!
Hey-O!
Carson hosting the Tonight Show
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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12. |
Eat Too Much
02:06
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EAT TOO MUCH
(parody of “Miss You Much” by Janet Jackson)
Original Release: 1990 (by Guns N’ Moses)
Food, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse
Another plate of steak and fries
Just call me thunder thighs
I’ll have dessert of course
I’m on a seafood diet
I quit Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig
I need a U-Haul just to move one of my legs
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I stuff my face all day
I am the kind of girl who likes an all-you-can-eat buffet
I eat too much (Oh. No. I. Eat Too Much.)
I really eat too much (E-A-T Too Much.)
I eat too much (Oh. No. I. Eat Too Much.)
I really eat too much (E-A-T Too Much.)
I’m such a cow, you can say that I’m big
I got Rosanne Barr’s appetite
And so much cellulite
I look like Porky P-P-P-P-Pig (“That’s all folks!”)
I need more chocolate, and Twinkies
I eat more leftovers than Dom Deluise
Take me to McDonalds, call up Pizza Hut
Everything I gobble goes directly to my butt
I eat too much (Oh. No. I. Eat Too Much.)
I really eat too much (E-A-T Too Much.)
I eat too much (Oh. No. I. Eat Too Much.)
I really eat too much (E-A-T Too Much.)
“Are you gonna finish that?”
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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13. |
Suns, Suns, Suns
01:52
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SUNS, SUNS, SUNS
(parody of “Fun, Fun, Fun” by The Beach Boys)
Original Release: 1989
“All right here’s K.J., comes down the right side, bounce the ball to Hornacek, left of the key.
He’ll throw it inside to Gilliam, he’ll turn for the jump hook, and he’s got it!”
Well, they got a basketball and they cruised through the regular season
Seems Arizona caught the Cotton express at the Coliseum
And now the temperature’s rising in the Valley, and here’s the reason
It’s the Phoenix Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA
(Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA)
Well the Gorillas gone bananas ‘cause the championship’s at stake now
(Gorilla’s an ape now, gorilla’s an ape)
Tom Chambers can tell Kareem to go jump in a lake now
(Go jump in a lake now, go jump in a lake)
And Kevin Johnson steals the ball, and he leads ‘em on a wild fast break now
(Wild fast break now, a wild fast break)
The Phoenix Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA
(Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA)
“Hi, this is Cotton Fitzsimmons, coach of the Phoenix Suns, for KZZP!”
“This is Al McCoy, and the Phoenix Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA!”
“Hi this is Tiffany. Go Cardinals!”
Well, we knew all along that the Phoenix Suns were gonna rise now
(Suns in our eyes now, the Suns in our eyes)
With every layup, slam dunk, and swish, the score multiplies now
(Two points at a time now, two points at a time)
And Armen Gilliam, Jeff Hornacek, and E.J. are really tall guys now
(Big shoe size now, big shoe size)
They’re the Phoenix Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA
(Suns, Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA)
Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA
(Suns, Suns, they’re the hottest in the NBA)
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
Special thanks to John Asaro
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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14. |
Twitties Episode 1
01:54
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written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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15. |
I Paint The Eggs
02:27
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I PAINT THE EGGS
(parody of “I Write The Songs” by Barry Manilow)
Original Release: 1992
I’ve been a rabbit forever
And I painted the very first egg
I put the bonnets and the baskets together
I am Easter
And I paint the eggs
I paint the eggs that children love to find
They’ll go rotten if they’re left behind
I paint the eggs with safe, non-toxic dye
I paint the eggs, I paint the eggs
I’ve been hopping down this trail, I need to soak my cotton tail
And I’ve got a bunion on my rabbit’s foot
You might thing my job is fun, but the farmer’s got a gun
Eggs are green, eggs are blue, eggs are blue, eggs are green
Some are cream-filled Cadbury’s
I paint the eggs that children love to find
They’ll go rotten if they’re left behind
I paint the eggs with safe, non-toxic dye
I paint the eggs, I paint the eggs
I am Easter
And I paint the eggs
written by Mark Jonathan Davis & Rob "Iceman" Izenberg
(C) Copyright 1986-2021 Mark Jonathan Davis / Coverage Records / World Art Supply
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Mark Jonathan Davis Los Angeles, California
Mark Jonathan Davis is a writer, comedian, and music producer in Los Angeles.
He has been
writing, recording, and performing comedy songs for radio, television, and movies since the 1980's.
www.markjonathandavis.com
... more
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